A young woman was sitting at a table in the corner of a coffee shop. She was reading a book, and she took a break to take a sip of her coffee. She looked around the shop and noticed everyone else there was in at least pairs – they each had someone to share not just their coffee but as well their thoughts, hopes, and dreams. The woman sitting in the corner was named Luze, and she had become quite accustomed to being alone. Luze was adopted and grew up in a home where whatever love was offered was overwhelmed by criticism and shame. Luze was ordinary looking, and her adopted parents seemingly never missed an opportunity to remind her of her lack of beauty. Luze’ childhood had led to her carrying a heavy burden of insecurity, which helped her build up an almost impenetrable wall for anyone to get close to her.
The bell at the top of the entry door to the shop jingled, and Luze looked up to find a man by himself heading to the counter. He was tall with long brown hair and a beard. He was pretty average looking, but as she watched him order his coffee, he had a very kind and gentle smile. She watched him standing very straight as he waited for his drink. After he picked up his coffee, he scanned the room for a place to sit. His eyes locked in on Luze, and terrified, she buried her head in her book. Peeking over the top of the cover, she saw the man heading her way. She could feel her pulse quickening as she stared at her book but not seeing a single word.
“Is this seat taken?” the man inquired.
Luze slowly looked up in wonder at this bearded man with an even kinder look on his face now that he was standing so close to her.
“Is anyone sitting with you?” he again asked.
“Oh, uh, no. Please have a seat.” Luze was stunned by her courage to invite the man to sit with her, but she couldn’t get past his gentle demeanor.
“Thank you. I’ve never been to this coffee shop before. I just moved into town, and I thought I would try to find a good cup of coffee.”
Luze asked, “Welcome to the area. Why did you move here?”
“I’m starting a reconstruction project” the man replied.
“Oh, that sounds interesting. Where is it?” Luze continued to surprise herself at how easy it was having a conversation with this man.
The man responded, “It’s close by”. My name is J.C. What’s your name?”
“My name is Luze,” she said under her breath.
“That’s a nice name. Is that short for something, like Lucy or Lucinda?”
“No, it’s always been just Luze. The people who adopted me gave me the name. Apparently, I had a name from my birth mother, but I’ve never known what that name was.” Luze and J.C. continued talking for over an hour. The entire time, Luze was going back and forth from terror and joy as she found herself in a very “normal” conversation with another person – and especially a man. He made her feel so comfortable, that she found herself feeling uncommonly free to talk to him. They really didn’t talk about anything of substance, but prior to an hour ago, the mere thought of her carrying on an extended communication with a man would have been impossible. There was just something special about J.C.
“I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, Luze. You seem like a very special person. I have to get back to moving in, but would you be interested in having dinner with me tonight?”
Luze was paralyzed. She had never been asked out on a date or even for a meal. This was foreign territory for her, and she didn’t know what to say.
“My treat.” J.C. said with that gentle and kind smile.
“Sure.” Luze stuttered. “There’s a family-run restaurant at the end of this street. It’s called “The Kingdom”.
“Sounds like my kind of place.” J.C. said with a brighter smile. “How about I meet you there at 6:30?”
“That’s perfect.” Luze chirped with a smile.
“Great! I’m looking forward to it.” J.C. got up and said, “See you at 6:30pm in The Kingdom.”
As he walked away, Luze said under breath, “I’m looking forward to it, too!” Luze was grinning from ear to ear but still in disbelief over what had just happened. She tried to get back to reading her book, but she was awash in her imagination as to what a dinner date was going to be like. She spent the rest of the day experiencing feelings she had never had felt before in her entire life. She was actually looking forward to something!
Luze didn’t live too far from The Kingdom, so she chose to walk to the restaurant. She got there a little early only to find J.C. was already waiting for her. He had picked out a table that was by the window with the best view. When he saw Luze, he stood up, greeted her with his kind smile, and pulled out the chair for her to sit down.
“My. What nice manners.” Luze said warmly.
“My Father taught me well.” J.C. responded.
After ordering their meals, J.C. asked her what she did for a living.
“I work in the local assisted living home.” Luze replied.
“Wow. That’s a very thoughtful job. It must be very rewarding helping people. Why did you choose that line of work?”
Luze didn’t immediately reply. Nobody had ever asked her that question, and to her own surprise, she had never given it that much thought as to why she took the job. She recalled this was the first job that became available to her, so she took it. “That’s a good question. I guess I like to help people who are in need. I didn’t get that much help from my adopted parents, so I don’t know where I got this desire to help others.”
J.C. looked deeply into Luze’ eyes, and she felt the warmth of his gaze down to her soul. His face began to sadden, and he said, “I’m so sorry to hear about how your adopted parents didn’t treat you well. Do you want to talk more about them?”
Luze froze again. She had never been asked about her childhood with her adopted family. Much of it was something she would prefer not to remember. However, she could tell J.C. was sincerely interested, and he made her feel so at ease in talking about anything. She spent the balance of their evening together sharing some of her more painful stories of neglect, criticism, and various types of abuse she experienced at the hands of her parents. As she recounted these stories, she swore she could see a tear in J.C.’s eyes from time to time. At the end of her meal, she said, “I’m so sorry, this is the first time I have ever been on a dinner date in my life, and I unload the mess of my childhood on you. Some date!” Luze said with exasperation in her voice.
“I’m so glad you’ve told me these things, Luze, but I’m very sorry for what you’ve experienced. Have you been able to forgive them?”
“No way!” Luze erupted. “Those people didn’t really love me. Why did they even adopt me? Did they need a punching bag? Forgiveness is not an option – they don’t deserve it!”
“I’m not so sure about that, but I’m certain you do. I’m sorry, but I have to get up early tomorrow to start my reconstruction work. Would you mind us getting together again tomorrow night? I’d like to learn more about you.” J.C. said this with that smile.
“After what I just unloaded on you, and you still want to see me again? You must be a glutton for punishment.” Luze said with a shock in her voice.
“It will be my pleasure. Same time tomorrow – here in The Kingdom okay?”
Stunned again at what was happening, she blurted out “Sure”.
J.C. smiled, stood up, extended his hand to Luze to help her up, and walked her outside. “Would you like me to walk you home?”
“That’s very nice of you to offer, but I don’t live too far. Thank you for tonight. You’re the first person I’ve ever shared my childhood with. It feels kind of good talking about it.”
“You’re welcome. Give some thought to forgiving your parents, Luze. I think you will find it healing for you and maybe even for them. Good night.”
Luze sat in a daze as she watched this amazing man walk out of her sight. She spent her entire walk home and the rest of the night processing what she had spilled out to J.C. and even considered the idea of forgiving her parents. The last thing she remembered about that evening was J.C.s comment that forgiving her parents would be good for her and for them. As she tried to figure out how that made sense, she drifted off to sleep.
The next evening, Luze again arrived at The Kingdom a little early and, again, she found J.C. already there at the same table. She thought to herself, ‘I’ve never had a “spot” before.’ J.C. stood up, gave her a warm smile, and pulled the chair out for her. As she sat down, she noticed he had several bruises and cuts. She asked him, “Are you okay?”
“It comes with the reconstruction job. It’s just the way it has to be.” He calmly said.
Luze immediately jumped in and said, “I want to thank you again for last night. Talking about my childhood was surprisingly helpful to me. And I’ve been giving some serious thought about forgiving my parents. But if you don’t mind me asking, what did you mean when you thought I deserve to forgive my parents?”
“Forgiveness not only releases the people from the guilt and shame of their sins, but it also brings healing to those who the sins were committed against. The pain and suffering from another’s sins can be just as crippling as the guilt and shame of one’s own sin.”
“I have never thought about forgiveness in that way.” Luze said bewilderedly.
J.C. changed the subject and asked her, “Have you ever tried to reach out to your birth parents?”
Luze’ countenance changed immediately. “No!” she said in a raised voice. “How does a mother give away her own child? I have felt that rejection my entire life.”
“Do you know the circumstances of why they gave you away?” J.C. asked with a pained look in his face.
“I heard she was very young, and my father was never in the picture.” Luze stated with bitterness in her voice.
“Sounds like another opportunity to extend some forgiveness.” J.C. said softly.
“What is it with you and forgiveness?” Luze asked with some attitude.
“I have a lot of experience in it.” J.C. replied with a pained look in his face. “My Father taught me there is nothing more freeing than being forgiven. He told me the greater the offense, the greater the cost of forgiveness. However, the greater the forgiveness, the more freedom you have to move forward and be who God originally designed you to be.”
Luze was startled how J.C.’s words cut to her heart. She sat there silently as she felt J.C.’s dark brown eyes peering into her soul. The conversation for the balance of that evening was largely Luze sharing more about her job and the things she does to make the residents more comfortable. As she talked this out, she realized how much she enjoys her job, but she was baffled at where she got the desire to help others when she had no role model for such concern for others.
“I’m sorry, but I have to get up early again as there is another phase of the reconstruction project I need to work especially hard on tomorrow. Do you mind if we leave now?” J.C. asked.
“You know what, I’m going to stay here in The Kingdom a little longer, J.C. You go ahead. Would you like some more punishment with me tomorrow night here at 6:30?” Luze continued to marvel at her newfound boldness with J.C.
“I’d love to! You beat me to the punch in asking you! I’ll see you tomorrow!”
Luze watched J.C. walk out and then watched him through the window where she was sitting. She was reflecting on the content of the last two days of conversations with J.C. and simply was in awe of what she had shared with him. She had just told him more about her life – and most of the dirt of it – than she had to everyone she’s ever known – combined! Yet, there, sitting in The Kingdom, she kept dwelling on J.C.’s favorite topic – forgiveness. ‘Can I really forgive these people who have hurt me so much?’ she wondered to herself for the rest of the evening.
On the third day of their meetings, J.C. was again waiting for Luze in The Kingdom. He noticed she had a lighter countenance than he had seen in the previous two days. As Luze drew closer, she could see the bruises and cuts had multiplied several times. He was really beat up. “J.C., what kind of reconstruction job is this that is causing you so many wounds?”
After sitting Luze down, J.C. said, “It’s the “grace” project”.
“The grace project? I’ve never heard of it. Where is it located?” Luze asked.
“Sitting in your seat.” J.C. said with a smile.
Luze’ sat stunned and barely got out the words, “I don’t understand.”
J.C. once again looked her intently into her eyes. “My reconstruction project is you, Luze. I’ve known you your whole life. Your birth parents were very young. They had just found out they were going to have you and were driving to tell your mother’s parents. They had been drinking, and they lost control of the car and hit a telephone pole. Your father was killed immediately, and your mother was badly hurt – she ended up paralyzed from the waist down. You survived in her, but she felt she would never be able to be a good mother for you. She gave birth to you, and even though she knew she was going to have to give you away, she chose to name you.”
Luze’ eyes were welling up with tears. She looked down in shame as she was learning all the bitterness she held against her birth parents was completely unfounded. “What was my birth name?” she asked – her voice quivering.
“Grace”, J.C. said with that gentle smile. I think it’s a beautiful name. Funny, I’ve seen a number of women named Grace here in The Kingdom.
Pulling herself together, Luze asked “What do you mean you’ve known me my whole life?”
“You never asked me what J.C. stood for, Grace. It stands for Jesus Christ. All these bruises and cuts are the wounds that I took to bring forgiveness to your birth and adopted parents. For every sin they committed against you and to allow you the strength to forgive them, I had to suffer. My Father was right – forgiveness comes at a great cost. But I can see in your face and the way you walked in tonight that you are experiencing the freedom that comes with forgiveness. Every one of these wounds is worth it to My Father and Me to see you experience real forgiveness.
Luze was sobbing at this point and was speechless.
Jesus continued, “Oh, and the reason you enjoy and do your job so well is that is the real you – the you I made you to be. You are a beautiful and wonderful person, and you have much to give to others. You were never meant to be a burden, criticized or shamed – that was not my choice – they were the poor and hurtful choices others made. You now know Me, and I see you only as how I created you. If you choose to believe in me and learn to receive and give forgiveness, I will never leave your side. You will be forever Grace to Me. I love you, and I always will.”
Grace put her face in her napkin to wipe away the tears and said, “I do believe in you, Jesus. Thank you!” As she lifted her face, He was gone.
The waiter came to the table and asked if she wanted anything else. Bewildered at Jesus’ disappearance. She asked, “I guess I need to pay the bill.”
The waiter looked at her with a smile and said, “Jesus paid the price.” He always does when you’re in The Kingdom, Grace.”